Excerpts

Excerpts from Crushing Etiquette book​

THE POWER NETWORK

Networking skills are crucial for all professionals, especially in a world that is competitive and fast-paced. You only have a few seconds to get someone’s attention and make a great impression.

Take every opportunity to attend networking events where you can engage with other professionals in a more relaxed setting. This is when you get to know people on a non-professional level, which will help forge business connections that can be mutually beneficial.

While there is room for shop talk, it is the small talk that allows people to connect with one another on a more personal level.

Some might consider networking as work, but as is said, you are one person away from meeting someone who may change the rest of your life.

How you approach networking can make all the difference between a staid affair and an enjoyable one.

Take the “work” out of “network” and one is left with “net”; like a net, this group of people can be very supportive – not to mention influential – in your professional life.

THE SHRINKING WORLD OF BUSINESS

 The world has shrunk rapidly over the last few decades, making it easier to acquire an understanding and appreciation of various cultures across the globe. A number of business interactions are happily multi-cultural, making them rich with international ideas and perspectives. This opens up our individual worlds and gives perspective on how different cultures operate.

Knowing how to communicate past confounding customs does wonders to reduce anxiety and leads to positive business encounters. A good grasp of international business etiquette is essential to establish solid professional relationships in today’s world…

An awareness of differences in the business culture in various countries, proper greetings, how to dine in accordance with local customs, appropriate business attire and the pecking order goes a long way towards successful negotiations.

The Dining Hot Seat

In the world of business, deals are constantly made, employees are hired and hands are shaken over a lunch or dinner to find the right fit for the job at hand. In fact, a number of companies use business lunches as a part of the interview process to see how candidates conduct them- selves at table.

This faux sense of informality can throw people off their game. What could befuddle interviewees is the relatively casual nature of a lunch setting. Since it is not as formal as a proper interview, exactly how relaxed are they permitted to be?

Employers and business partners find that having a meal together is an effective way to assess interviewees and prospective associates to see how well they fit into the corporate culture of their company, and see if they would like to take the relationship further. This scenario is not unlike a date that leads up to a wedding – some courting before the commitment.

A MATTER OF TABLE MANNERS

Understanding which fork to use is just a minor aspect of mastering dining etiquette. Learning to eat with company can be less stressful when you raise your standards and understand the protocols followed whilst dining with others. Poise and good table manners are important both socially and professionally and make the experience pleasant for everyone around the table.

Being aware of the needs of other diners makes for an attentive guest. If you are a guest in someone’s residence, and they do not have a wait staff, guests would naturally pitch in and be involved in passing dishes to each other. It is up to you, as a good guest, to keep an eye out and notice if somebody seated near you might want more bread or other dishes.

A Contributor’s Story on a Grinchy Guest

“A hundred professionals had gathered in a smart hotel on the banks of the river Cam. Glass in hand, they awaited the arrival of four highly qualified, and indeed famous, persons to talk about their professions. There would be a politician, a television reporter, a horticulturist and the well-known sportsman, James Brett*.

Mr Brett arrived last with a grumpy face and on being offered a cocktail, said very haughtily that he only drank champagne. That was a first for me. However, he was given a flute of the best.

We all sat with Mr Brett on my right and the horticulturist, Mavis Blum*, on my left. Almost immediately, Mr Brett said to me, within Ms Blum’s hearing, ‘How dare you…? 

What did Mr Brett say? Read the book to find out…

Know thy Guest

As a host, it is important to know your guests’ dietary restrictions or food allergies. This will ensure that the guests have something to eat with every course, and also save the hosts any embarrassment that might come from having little or nothing to serve someone.

Knowing your guests’ preferences is easily accomplished at the time that you invite them. Include a question such as “Do you or your family have any dietary restrictions or preferences that I should know about?” This gives the guests an opportunity to be forthcoming about any allergies or lifestyle choices that they may have adopted, without worrying that they might be rude by doing so.

If the invitation indicates that guests should let the host know of any dietary restrictions, then the guest should do so while accepting the invitation.

Guests, on their part, have the obligation to not be fussy and demanding when they go to dinner. It is impossible for every course to please every guest. Remember that it is a privilege to be invited. If one does not like what is served, then one only needs to try a small bite, then set the rest aside and get ready to join the conversation enthusiastically.

Gifts

The best gifts are those that are thoughtful or significant. If you know the hosts, a bottle of wine from their favourite vineyard would be a winner. If you knew that they wanted to read a book that was just published recently, a copy of the same would be a delightful gift.

Unless the host has specified that everybody is to bring a dish, it is best to avoid taking food to the party. This would put a spoke in the host’s meal wheel as it may not conform to what was planned to be served.

If you take a bottle of wine, don’t expect it to be served on that occasion; the hosts may already have their wines planned out for the evening.

Gifts can be hit or miss, but no gracious hostess would actually turn her nose up at something that was gifted. However ridiculous a gift might seem, the only polite response is a warm “thank you.”

Of being Fashionably Late

Hosting can be as nerve-racking as it can be delightful. Everything has to be just so – the house spic and span, the flowers arranged, the table laid out, the dinner ready, the last-minute crumbs swept away, and the hosts dressed to receive their guests.

Having all the nitty-gritty taken care of before the first guest rings the doorbell gives the hosts a chance to pay full attention to their guests during the event.

However meticulous a host might be, tasks have a way of getting unruly at times. A host would then appreciate a few extra minutes to sort out the wayward chores. If you do show up on the dot, military style, to a social gathering, you might be handed the broom to use as a magic wand to make those crumbs on the floor disappear.

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